The name of this mystery is women`s syndrome of a fat-ass. I hear the sound of falling into a swoon ladies' bodies, who were not expecting me to say it.
Lay-offs, divorces, self-mutilation and refusal from sex - is just a small top of those troubles, which for a long time are looking for explanations in the courts, board meetings and family councils. And usually there is one explonation-the fat ass syndrome. This is when everything seems to be wrong, and the life isn`t the cheerfull, because you have a fat ass. Perhaps you think that this disease have much in common with the above PMS. You are mistaken. Take, then, that in contrast to PMS, during which most things are often limited to two-three days, fat-ass syndrome can occur in women many times per a month. And the duration of each incident varies from one hour to several months or even years. Cases that go less than a week, I`ll call fat-ass seizures. The rest will be a protracted fat-ass syndrom. It is important that this syndrom is contagious and is transmitted not only through personal contact, but also by the phone and by Skype.
Another significant difference lies in the fact that women are proud of premenstrual syndrome. PMS is a flag and a horn of the feminine. They can justify anything with the help of it. Another thing is a fat-ass syndrome. A rare woman admits that she was the victim of a terrible disease. Most of the keep their terrible secret, taking it with them into the grave.
I'll try to explain,my dear readers, what is, in fact, a fat-ass syndrome.
I won`t lie if I say that 90% of women suffer from this illness in a civilized part of our round planet Earth. It is important to understand that there is no connection between real physical feminine body. Fat-ass syndrome is a state of mind. So this syndrome can have women in the weight range of 40 to 150 kg.
How does it happen?
The woman lives her normal life, no one touches her, and then - BOOM! There comes a seizure of a fat-ass syndrome. Not by itself, of course. Always there is some objective reason. For example, it is possible to watch TV and then notice Megan Fox. Woman begins thinking something like, "That's what is beautiful and sexy, and I'm not like this" - and that`s it.Fat-ass syndrome begins.
Mass fat-ass syndrome epidemia can be seen in the first decade of the month, when newspaper publisher prints the new portion of a glossy production, stuffed with pictures of perfect beauties.
Fat-ass syndrom can be even caused by jeans that got smaller after washing.
There are a lot of reasons,as u could notice.
You might ask me how to check if a woman has this syndrome? It is not that difficult. After all, the main occupation of women during fat-ass syndrome is - fighting against this "fat-ass".
And here they are, some signs of this righteous struggle.
1. The first thing that a woman does during fat-ass syndrome - she stops eating. It happens suddenly: a girl could devour fried potatoes, and then suddenly remembered that her son asked for some help with the hw,where they had to read stories of Tolstoy. Tolstoy!(Editor`s note-Tolstiy means fat in Russian), and then - unchewed potato get stuck in her mouth. Nothing-absorbing woman is a vivid indication that a syndrome occurred recently and lasts no longer than 24 hours. That's how much you can really eat nothing. After the "critical days" young lady, usually catches up with the next stage, which is described below.
2. Salad. It is proved that if a woman in all restaurants and cafes begins ordering only salad - it means she has the fat-ass syndrome. Nothing else can explain this love of a woman to a mixture of cucumbers, tomatoes and other vegetable stuff. Moreover, apart from a rather dubious taste, a woman gets also enjoyment in the form of strength training will. It`s very difficult to order a salad,while others ordered pasta, pancakes with red fish and apple strudel.
3. The woman goes and buys some sports clothing or equipment! Buying snickers,a rope, spread it all out on the bed (you can not even wear it!) -is a very good way to get rid of a fat-ass syndrome. Immediately you start to feel like a sport, and easy lady. And a seizure disappear. So stopping the woman in this case is not necessary. Unless, of course, this is not the eighth sports kit of all the basic necessities for the last two months.
4. "Do not you think that I gained weight?" - asks the girl casually, like the answer to this question it is not very important. Be careful - this is the tip of the iceberg. Before a woman asks a man this kind of question about a month should pass before she really does it. She analyzes everything-if it is worth asking,trying to think about the results of an answer. The desire to ask it already appears when you have a fat-ass syndrome on a last stages of growing. No salad and Adidas can help you already. If a woman is valuable to you as a friend, mother, lover or wife - your answer should be perfectly consistent with her expectations. Exactly expectations. As I mentioned above, fat-ass syndrome is a mental illness, so do not try to send her to the sport club, or exhort about a diet. It helps when a woman really has the problem with being overweight. And in this case it`s a great time to think about the soul, not the ass.
5. Despite the fact that all women love to buy clothes, it becomes very, very unpleasant procedure, when she has a fat-ass syndrome. Let's just say I`ll never go fit anything during the fat-ass seizure. A dressing room in the shop is a provocateur of a disease itself,actually. This is, of course, very stupid not to know your size, but I do not know, though regularly buy clothes. I only know that I have a shoe size 37. But M, XXS, 42, 28 for pants, "add 10 to our" - I do not understand anything about it. This is why I always call for a consultant,so he can at least answer on the question like "our 46 - this is your what?". From time to time consultant gets an idea not only to talk to me about how to "add to our 10", but simply to find something to fit me. And here just happens a strategic mistake. By the way, they make this mistake very often. It feels like a boutique workers think they will make me happy if on my "more than forty-sixth size" they`ll steady advise me to buy something from 42. Well, when they tell me this, I'll definitely be pleased. And all happy will go into the fitting. But there a bitter disappointment comes to me as soon as I`ll try on 42-sized trousers. The mirror will immediately show a pig in bra, with panties stuck on the ass. A dead pig,actually,if to take into account the delicate white - blue light in a fitting room. Agree, you must have an extensive training mind to find clothes, try on, and be content to purchase. I had a seizure of a fat-ass right in the dressing room, and I quietly left it without buying anything.
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It seems I've written quite a lot of letters and words, which were designed to show you,the honorable reader, that the issue of women's mental suffering from a fat-ass syndrome is comprehensive. It affects every aspect of our personal and public life, requiring new non-trivial way to solve it.
And therefore, be vigilant.
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