Woman as...

1) a child ...some stuff happens and she is running to her mother.
2) Peter the Great ... makes to shave a beard and wants to go to Europe.
3)a mortgage ... for the whole life and 1000 euro per month.
4)a traffic police inspector ...:will say some stuff u don`t understand, take away the money, ruin the mood,and it will be your fault.
5)an embassy ... can not allow to go to Thailand with friends.
6)chess ...do a wrong step aside and you will be killed.
7)a theater...today is a comedy, tomorrow-a tragedy, a day after a tour in another city.
8)a favorite sweater ... you're very fond of it course, but why do you need it on your summer vacation?
9)a cup of tea ... someone loves strong, someone-mild, and some guys makes one tea-bag for 2
10)football ... lies, moans, and you think: Simulates or not?
11)a teacher ... when it is an exam, you are preparing, said everything allright, and she'll hop  you on a trivial trap still.
12)a mobile phone...has also lots of functions,but you actually use only one

Honest resume

Have you ever thought of how would a resume look like if we wrote there everything we think indeed...

Here is an example:
1. Why did you choose our company?
- You are an idiot, aren`t you? I sent tons of resumes into different places. The one who will answer the first wins.
2. Why should we choose you?
- Do you need workers or not? Well here I am. Employee. I should be choosen already because I'm obviously smarter than all those who have written to these questions a standard and obvious stuff. And I`m smarter than you, by the way, because I never would have asked such stupid questions.
3. What salary would you like to receive?
- $ 2.5 million per year. This is how much receives the president of the United States. What`s this for question? Of course, I want to receive as much as you can pay me.But you won`t pay anyway,though. Then there is nothing to show off. Anyway, the choice for me: you say the price, I say - deal or not.
4. Why have you left your previous job?
- What the difference for you why I left? You won`t change your company specially for me anyway. What will give you my answer? First of all, I`ll lie. Secondly, if the answer will be honest,like a small salary or lack of career advancement, or hopelessness, or didn`t make friends, or the dog of the boss didn`t like me. So what? You won`t know if I get well together with your boss, staff, and the dog. And won`t know until you try.
5. How do you see yourself in 5/10/20 years (in our company)?
- If I`m that much useless in order to stay in your company for 5 years, I`m not worth working at all,then. 
6. What were your achievements at the previous job?
-I worked fine and coped well with my responsibilities. That is - an achievement! If your employees are working well only occasionally, I will disappoint you: with the right leadership and the good work there shouldn`t be any achievemnets! We have to work and not to suffer with some bullshit and achieve up!
7. How would you like to see your boss?
- I wouldn`t want to see him. This is the first thing I wanted to say. And the second one-I don`t care of how he looks like. Seriously, there is no difference. The main thing is that he is that boss, who can properly and clearly articulate the problem. And the rest...Even if he will be riding around the office in red boxers on a white giant hamster,I don`t care!Well,about the giant hamster I will,but not about how my boss looks like.
8. What are your advantages?
- Oh! This is another "smart" question, right? I know how to play the psaltery and spitting on 10-15 meters length. If you need my qualifications, then it`s written in my resume already.
9. What are your weaknesses?
- Like I`m going to tell you. Aha,right!I have one lack - I`m a good tenor singing.  Neighbors always complain,but I was told at the Conservatory I`m a talent. Here's another weakness: when I eat soup with a spoon I scoop to myself, and not from myself,as it should be by the rules of etiquette.
Anyway, return this piece of paper with these questions,which you have stollen from a child and do not hurt him anymore. If you do not know what you need, then take me to work,cause we have surprisingly much in common: I do not have a clue what you want as well!

My friend`s cottage

I went to my friend`s cottage these weekend.I must say it was really amazing.There was a big company.My best friend had her bday,so she invited everyone and we had a great time!

First of all wanted to show u how her house looks like...Actually there is a big territory with several houses.The main one and some others...

This small building is what we call Banya(it`s the same as sauna).On the second floor is a room for the guests.And u also can see there is a swimming pool.

 This one is the room where the brother of my friend can spend his time.As he is the fan of music,the whole room is full of musical instruments. But fortunately no one can hear the noise.

 Now we can see the stairs which lead towards the main building.

This is how the building looks from the front...It has 3 floors,on each there are around 4-5 rooms.

On the first one there is a kitchen...

 ...and a living room

Also the stairs,which leads on different floors(this pic was made from the last one)

 We swam in the swimming pool,went to sauna and played different games=)

 Also made some shaslik(some people name it as shish kebab)

Also decided to cook sushi...It was our first experience,and actually it didn`t seem that bad,if not counting...

 ...this awfull giant Philadelphia roll...argh)But all in all I think we made it)

Besides this we also cooked some salads and made some snacks=)

 (from the left)Me,Masha(my friend,who had bday),and Masha`s friend Anna.

What I want in a man

What I Want in a Man, Original List (age 20-30)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. Carying about me
5. Witty
6. In a good shape
7. Dresses with style
8.  Generous
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. Great lover 

11. Not having any bad habbits

12. Having the same aims in life as me

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 30-40)
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

11. Taking care of me and children

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 40-50)
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
9. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 50-60)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 60-70)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 70-80)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

The Man Dictionary

1."IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
2."CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
3."UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
4."I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."
5."TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
6."THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
7."YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the time when any football match begins, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
8."I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "I did something bad and just want to make you keep calm with this present"
9."OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
10."I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
11."WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
12."I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
13."YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
14."YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
15."I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

15 phrases which any girl pronounced at least once in her life

1.I can`t walk that fast,I`m wearing heels
2.I couldn`t resist buying this...
3.I didn`t touch anything!It broke up itself!
4.Aaaaah!!Spider!
5.Don`t worry,it happens with everyone.I liked it anyway.
6.I don`t care what others think of me.
7.Nobody loves me!!!!
8.Nothing will happen if I eat just one piece of cake...
9.Just not inside me!!
10.We are just friends.
11.Do you love me?
12.What are you thinking about?
13.Of course I didn`t simulate...
14.Second line,please,don`t appear!
15.You all,guys,need the same...

The day at the lake!

There is a lake not far from my flat...The name of it will sound like Circle Lake,if to translate it from Russian.It indeed has nearly the shape of a circle=)You can check it on the map!

It took me and my mum 15 min only to get there by bus.Yahoo!

The weather was really amazing...Sunny,cloudy and not windy.

 Though I didn`t dare swim,cause I thought it was still abit cold,but I managed to sunbath alot and get a red nose and cheeks..though on the pic it`s not very noticable=)

 Even Chupa-Chups was in shock `cause of this look=)

A very relaxing and cheerful song

One hundred visitors!!!

Today is a big day for my blog!=)
There are 100 visitors all in all so far already and it only makes me happy!
The one hundredth visitor is a person from Spain!
Yahoo!!!Thank you,guys,for reading my blog.I hope you really enjoy it!
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Learn it,guys,by heart!)