Thoughts of the girl`s stomach during the diet

Monday. Morning.
So-oo ... You dressed, left the house and went to work. And who is going to eat breakfast? Where is my porridge? Yeah, sure, smoke a bit ... I`ll make an acrobatic trick now!Bad, huh? Don`t smoke while you are hungry next time. What`s happening anyway?!
Day.
Aha,I got it. On Saturday she thought she had cellulite again and on Monday she is on a diet. Damn! Has anybody asked me for a permission? Ofc, no! But I`m not your hair! Such experiments will not pass! I`ll turn on the bubbling. Uh ... No, cutie, put your yoghurt deeply in the ass! I`ll only make the bubbling stronger, will add more sound effects, are prepare another acrobatic somersault.
Evening.
I WANT TO EAT! GIVE ME FOOD! I demand a pork chop! EEEEEEAAAAAATTTTT!
Night.
Fuck you, I`m not going to let you fall asleep! I'm hungry. I don`t care about your diet. I. Want. To. Eat.
Tuesday. Morning.
So you are going to continue the torture, right? I`ll be again without a cereal, right? Esophagus has already digested your cabbage leaf with hunger and I even did not get anything! Damn, you are such a fool! I was envy to the stomach of Oprah all night...
Day.
My strength is low, I`m sending impulses to the brain, the brain sends these impulses in the ass. Damn, what are you doing? Yogurt again. I DON`T LIKE IT!
Evening.
I`m bubbling as hard as I can,but you are not paying any attention to me,snake...
Wednesday.Morning.
I`ve had a bit of salad! Didn`t know such shit exists...I began forgetting the taste of meals...*bu-urlll* ...
Day.
Hooray! Yoghurt! Yoghurt!
Evening.
There is nothing left of me. Even ass is laughing at me. Barely digested two radishes, I`m losing skills.
Night.
I remember when we lived with your parents, every night there was soup for dinner! And the salad. And meat...
Thursday.Morning.
Don`t smoke at least! Oups, sorry. I didn`t threw up on purpose...Where is my yoghurt,uh?
Evening.
I talked to the intestines - they are all in shock. They said the stocks are at the end. Oh, oh, look out! Such a large plum - and this all is for me! Damn, I went to digest!
Friday. Early morning.
We are sitting on the toilet, accompaning the plums.
Morning.
I got yogurt! Yiiiiiiiiiii!
Evening.
We are sitting in a restaurant with some guy and you are smelling the food. Well. Come on! Order yourself something! We did not ate all week ...Listen! He is telling her that she is very thin! That she has to eat! That she looks great! Awwww, good boy! Yiiiiiiiiiiii! Now I'll eat!
Late evening.
Sooo .. *burll* ... you decided to order all the dishes from the menu or what?!... What do we have here? Aha, mushrooms ... and this ... *hic!* Martini ... *bu-burlll* ... oh, salad....
Night.
Goodbye, mushrooms! Salad, goodbye! Oh, mineral water, come in!... We were just on a diet.

Another portion of funny and interesting pics...

Nature also has the sense of humour...

 This is how whales sleep...

Wheels

Have you ever thought that all our life is on the wheels?

Every girl will understand...=)

How to behave yourself with women

My dear men, 
I would like to ask you in this life only for one thing - to be a man! Forget the recent rebellion of feminism - help women with their bags, pay for them at the cafe, open doors for them, protect them, take on their issues or at least be interested in them. Maybe you'll understand why you need to do all this, when you get home, and there everything will become so cosy, towels witll be clean and lie in different colors in your bathroom, a plate with dinner will be on the table waiting for you. Or perhaps when everything will be slipping out of your hands - work, business, friends, and she will be next to you every day. Will hold your hand and hold your head telling you that you are the best. And, perhaps, when you see how much health and nerves, she lost while wearing your child at heart, or when, after hours of 12-16-20 in the throes of childbirth, she will give you a baby.

Be kind to her.
Stop wag her nerves with your pride, man's logic or strength of your character. Call her. Especially when you had a fight, call her. If only you could have seen her crying bitterly after you had a fight by the phone or shut  the door. No, she doesn`t not cry as nicely as it it shown in the movies: in the pillow and quietly. She weeps bitterly, wiping tears on her swollen, red face. She howls of pain that you caused her. Call her back, come to her. Grab her up and take out of this grief, as from fire.

Do not hurt her.
Do not shout, do not insult. You can kill her with your words. Her, a kind and gentle girl. It becomes a vicious, cruel and vindictive, just because you once could angrily shout in her face a "bitch." You can  thousand times regrett later on what you said or did. But the moment has passed. You have no idea how unbearably painful it is to hear of the most beloved and dear the angry words. You can live in peace after, but she would not forget. And then you, dear men, you will be surprised how can we have so much cynicism and indifference with each other. Do not blame her. Better "that jurk that looked at her" be the guilty one. But she needs to stay saint for you. If a girl wants to cheat,she will cheat without letting you know. But if you notice, she did it on purpose. It means she misses you being jealous,she feels not needed,not wanted.,she hesitated in your feelings.Girls need only you to be near.If you won`t be near,someone else will be instead of you.

Tell her more about your future together. 
Let it be like in the cinema. Even if it`s too fake. Still speak! If suddenly tomorrow will not come... You will never get the chance to tell her everything. Promise things. She is so happy when she hears your promises, when she dreams, hopes for something very good. Even if you  leave the day after tomorrow, those fifteen minutes of happiness were worth it, when you were lying in the bed and was dreaming of your beautiful future together! Every second is worth it! There are so few seconds like this in our lives. And we also limit ourselves. We think we are building a relationship! But a relationship should just live! You need to say what you think about right now, here in this moment.

10 commandments for PARENTS

1. Do not expect your child to be like you or like you want. Help him not to become like you, but like himself.
2. Do not ask the child to pay for everything you do for him. You gave him life. How can he pay for this? He will give life to another, another - to the third, and this is an irreversible law of gratitude.
3. Do not  put your angriness on the baby, `cause as you know what goes around comes around.
4. Do not take his problems easily. Mabe for him this is very hard, and maybe his problems are even harder than your`s, since he has no experience.
5. Not disgrace!
6. Do not forget that the most important meetings for him are the meeting with  other children. Pay more attention to them.Socium might influence alot on the child.But don`t forbid him anything.Forbiding only causes willing more.
7. Do not torture yourself, if you can not do something for your child. Start torture only if you can do it - but you do not.
8. Child - it is not a tyrant, who holds your life and doesn`t let you easily breathe in. This is the precious cup, which gave you life in storage and the development of his creative fire. 
9. Learn how to love someone else's child. 
10. Love your child in any condition- untalented, unlucky, awkward.

We will all pass away...sooner or later...

Sorry,guys,for not writing anything in my blog lately...
I had a special reason for it,actually.
My father passed away in the beginning of October,and it really made me rethink of my life...
Before I just wouldn`t be able to write anything normal or clear,but now while time is passing by and live is moving on,I start putting all the thoughts back on the shelves after the greatest earthquake which ever happened to me before.

You are never prepared to this kind of things.Even when u know that someone is very ill and doctor says he won`t live for longer than a month,u still hope and can`t believe it`s all happening to u.
In my life there was no doctor,who made any supposition. It happened unexpectedly.At all...The most terrible thing is that you have to continue living with different torturing thoughts on your mind...Thinking of what if this,what if that...why didn`t u tell this or that...You start remembering all the quarells,hating yourself,blaming yourself.And it`s awful.You can`t submit that it really happened.You just don`t want to.And you don`t have to.
Death is a very mysterious thing. When you've had someone that you loved recently pass, it makes you ponder not only the remorse you feel for the loved one but death itself and what it truly means. I've noticed that some can discuss death very openly, and very candidly. And others you can tell feel very uncomfortable talking about it, they will try to change the subject to some lighter matter. 
As for me,I started thinking alot about death lately...I got really scared of how unexpectadly it can come to you.You make plans,you built your life and in a moment this all can just collapse.And I`m really very scared of just disappearing.I don`t want to die as no one.I want to do smth in my life yet,which will trully mean smth for someone.To make someone happy,to save someone from smth,to give a birth to a baby and so on...
And I also don`t know what will happen after I die.
I trully want to believe that the one who passes away is always near you,ready to protect you.He become your angel.Or maybe it`s just a hope and our imagination and there is nothing after death...only endless emptiness....

I think we should all realize that we all will die someday. When I say realize I mean to the extent that death is just as real to you as talking, walking or hearing. Why is this important? Because we must realize this world is a veil, that behind the curtain of this world, lies another world, where we will spend eternity. And that death is the instrument that brings us into our new world. All the things that seem so important now, won't be important in the next life.
Really consider what is important and what is simply a waste of your time. Death brings us a perspective on life, it shows us what is vital and what is worthless.
I just hope close people who left us all are in a better place now.Without all these life problems which they all had over here.
But we shouldn`t get stuck.We should move on.I think my father wouldn`t want me to cry all days and nights.He would want me to be happy.And I`m not going to put a cross on my own life.We all should get strong and take care of people who are still with us now.Maybe for this world you are just a person,but for some person you might be the whole world.So enjoy every moment of your life.Live and let live the other`s.
Death always smiles towards us,the only thing we can do is to smile back.

P.S.Father,I love you and I always will...